Fast forward to the present. I filed for divorce Dec 2, 2008. It became final on June 2, 2009. He is depressed, unhealthy and broke. He is filing for bankruptcy... I think. He took out $200k of the "in case of emergency" home equity line without my knowledge in the summer of 2008. That was after racking up nearly a half a million in debt that I didn't know about. We all know about community property. I learned the hard way about community debt. Why does anyone want to legalize gay marriage? I'm trying to denounce heterosexual marriage!
Anyway back to the current situation.
We have two great kids, A, a beautiful, precocious 7 year old girl and Z, a handsome, unhappy, spirited 10 year old boy. I have two savings accounts/funds for each of them - one for college, one for therapy. I used to fund equally but I've started putting a little bit more in for therapy. They are going to spend a lot of time on the couch talking about what we did wrong. I figure it is only fair I pay for it.
My ex is a very involved father. Sometimes I wish I'd chosen an anonymous sperm donor. Hindsight. What a bitch!
We share the house. I had hoped my ex would leave on my days but he doesn't seem to have the money or will to leave...even for short times. And so I see his face... EVERYDAY. He looks like someone I loved once but old, fat and beaten up. And just to make this clear...I didn't do any of the beating. He handled all of that on his own. For the kids, I think we can make this work. Just so long as I can keep my sanity.
So why this blog? Why now? Today a friend, upon hearing what was happening said, that should be your show. I'm a producer so she jumped there. But I am a behind the scenes storyteller and not someone who would put herself or her family out there for public ridicule and torture via reality TV. "Yes, it is a hot mess of a story," I agreed. "But I'm not one to put myself or the kids out there like that." "No, you don't understand," she continued. "Your story could help people." HUH? What about this fucked up situation can help anyone??? Yeah and maybe "Jon and Kate PLUS HATE" should get into marriage counseling. "But you're doing it and your kids are great and you're not losing your mind." Well not immediately.
And so there you have it. I will put this out there anonymously in hopes that maybe it can help some woman and her family in a weird, complicated situation. And I'm hoping that if I help someone else, or at the very least make you chuckle or even feel like your situation isn't so bad, none of the craziness will matter. It will just fade. My kids will be ok. My ex will be ok and I will be ok.
